Really? Am I that lame?

Here’s the deal… I know that we are sinners by nature and choice. I get that I am not, neither now nor ever, going to be perfect while trapped in this flesh. I understand that I am constantly going to fall short of the glory of God and that I absolutely will disappoint Him over and over again. I GET IT!!  Now, moving on…

I really don’t like it!! I don’t like the sanctification process. It hurts like crap! I can see why so many leave when He starts dealing with the stuff inside. When it goes past just external, behavioral habits or action, and He starts with the character and belief system issues… man! It’s serious stuff. And it’s hard. And it reveals things about oneself that you’d probably rather not ‘fess up to. And a lot of the time I don’t leave His presence feeling all that great about myself…

But here’s why I love it… because it magnifies Him. It makes my God, the One true and living God, so much more glorious and gracious and miraculous and merciful. I am the lowest of the low, so unworthy to even utter His name… and yet He chose to humble Himself and save me and enable me to stand before the Almighty covered by His righteousness alone. 

I have to get past my junk… laziness, insecurity, anger, jealousy, self-condemnation… all that filth, that simply ties me up and keeps me from doing what He has called/gifted me to do. I don’t know how else to respond when I compare what/who I am to what/who HE is. All I can be is clay. And if He is asking me to get a move on, and let Him create within His creation, who am I to say that I’m not the right kind of clay? Isn’t that the beauty of clay? That it takes the form of whatever the potter is intending it be? It may take a few tries, but at the end of the day (or week , or year..), if the potter wants a simple bowl, or if He wants a flippin’ statue, He’s not going to stop molding until it’s what He intended it to be!! That is the very essence of Him, being faithful to complete the good work that He started.

Get yourself together, Christy. Or, better yet, DON”T! Just be some squishy, moldable, pliable, clay. Do your part, and let Him create. That’s it!

You’d better know pt.2

Sorry so tardy with the second half of the last post. It’s been a rough week!!

So anyway, after the news of what happened to the sons of Sceva traveled around, people were pretty  freaked out and Acts 19:17 says that a “A solemn fear descended on the city, and the name of the Lord Jesus was greatly honored.” So that’s cool! But the part that really gets me is this:

18 “Many who became believers confessed their sinful practices. 19  A number of them who had been practicing magic brought their incantation books and burned them at a public bonfire. The value of the books was several million dollars.”

It’s so interesting to me that it specifies that the sorcerers were so greatly impacted by what happened. They knew that they were in the same boat as those 7 guys. Again the word “incantation” is used connecting the sins of both groups. They recognized the depravity of their condition and their need of Christ. So much so that they burned their books as a sign of repentance. The NKJV says it like this (vs.19): “Also, many of those who had practiced magic brought their books together and burned them in the sight of all. And they counted up the value of them, and it totaled fifty thousand pieces of silver.”

One piece of silver equals one day’s wage. So if we put it in today’s value it looks like this: assuming a day’s wage is about $10/hr and you work 8 hours a day…  10×8=80 making 1 piece of silver $80. So 50,000 pieces of silver would equal $4 million. That’s a lot of repentance!!

But that’s also the power of testimony. Granted these guys didn’t come out on the good side of things, but still their story is what changed the lives of so many who were bound by the same sin. The testimony is in the greatness of our God. Of the name of Jesus. Of the authority that comes when we are hidden in Him and obedient to His Word. The group of sorcerers heard the story, said “Crap, that could be me!” And knew they needed to fix some things!!  I love that. Again, God uses stupid idiotic men to bring freedom and deliverance to the masses! I wanna know that power everyday.

Daily vs. Divine

So Sunday’s “In Awe” sermon continued in the “shake me awake” form of the “Devoted” sermon from last week. I just used three quotes in one sentence… a record, perhaps? Anyway, i was in serious contemplation and examination of my attitude and mindset. I can honestly say that remaining “in awe” of God has been a pretty constant prayer of mine for probably the last 6-7 years. I have been very aware (though obviously in frequent need of a reminder) that I can’t forget that He is the same yesterday, today, and forever and yesterday (old testament) He did some pretty gnarly things… today… tomorrow… no different. But I was talking to my husband about the crazy balance this calls for and how I’m not sure how to maintain it. How do we make God our everyday lives -discipleship, relationship, study, service – and not make it routine or familiar? How do we keep that same Godly fear every day?

Nichole Nordeman wrote a song years ago that is actually what made me aware of this battle. The lyrics are as follows:

Have I come too casually?
Because it seems to me
There’s something I’ve neglected
How does one approach a Deity
with informality
And still protect the Sacred?

‘Cause you came and chose to wear the skin of all of us
And it’s easy to forget You left a throne

And the line gets blurry all the time
Between daily and Divine
And it’s hard to know the difference

CHORUS:
Oh, let me not forget to tremble
Oh, let me not forget to tremble
Face down on the ground do I dare
To take the liberty to stare at you
Oh, let me not,
Oh, let me not forget to tremble

What a shame to think that I’d appear
Even slightly cavalier
In the matter of salvation
Do I claim this gift You freely gave
As if it were mine to take
With such little hesitation?

‘Cause you came and stood among the very least of us
And it’s easy to forget you left a throne

CHORUS

The cradle of the grave could not contain Your Divinity
Neither can I oversimplify this love

Oh, let me not forget to tremble

Face down on the ground do I dare
To take the liberty to stare at you
Oh, let me
Oh, let me not forget to tremble

“The line gets blurry all the time between daily and Divine…” That’s where the balance needs to be found. It’s interesting how in most things we do everyday, it’s routine. It’s the same-o same-o. But what is it that causes the mundane/routine? It’s comfort. It’s knowing exactly what to expect of the day. I looked up “mundane” in the dictionary and the 2nd definition is: of this earthly world rather than a heavenly or spiritual one. None of those things sound like our God. He is hardly same-o same-o!! I think that is the key to maintaining the “awe” factor… knowing that every time I face Him, everyday I seek Him, I am at His mercy. He could do whatever He wants with me. When you hear testimonies of those who are REALLY living led by the Spirit… their lives and daily chores become crazy spontaneous and unpredictable. God is huge. As soon as I start thinking I know what to expect of Him… as soon as the mundane sets in…  that’s when things start shifting more towards this earthly world rather than a heavenly or spiritual one.

I don’t know if this has made much sense. Feel free to add your own thoughts in a comment or two!!  I just really really love what’s happening…

You’d better KNOW Jesus…

This is a crazy story! Acts 13-20 is seriously insane. The first portion of verses i was somewhat familiar with. It’s when a group of Jews were going from town to town casting out evil spirits. What’s interesting is that as soon as they tried to do it in Jesus’ name, they were opposed by the spirit. So I believe this is what happened: Obviously, when they weren’t using Jesus’ name, they were successfully driving out evil spirits. It says that they were traveling around doing it, so this wasn’t the first time they tried. And I can’t believe that they would bother traveling from town to town it never worked.So how were they doing it if not through Jesus?  Well I don’t know what words they used, but don’t we know that it is never what is spoken that matters… words have no power in and of themselves… it’s the spiritual power behind the words that calls for action. 

Isn’t it just like the enemy to make a solid trade? I believe that every time these men approached an evil spirit, they did it in pride and a sense of witchery. Verse 13b says that they tried to use Jesus’ name in their “incantation“. Which leads me to believe that they had a set ritual/chant, which seems dangerously similar to witchcraft. So why wouldn’t the enemy allow them success in driving out a spirit here and there if every time they did, it drove them deeper and deeper into sin? Don’t forget, these were Jews. These men were the 7 sons of Sceva… A LEADING PRIEST (v. 14)!! These were men of God’s chosen people. The enemy is always willing to trade for a moment (I’m willing to guarantee that after fluttering about for a little while that the same spirits came right back with a vengeance to those who’d been “delivered”.) if it’s going to cause further separation between the Father and those He’s called. CRAZY!! And that’s just the first verse!!

Let me give you the verses so it makes a little better sense:

Act 19:13	A team of Jews who were traveling from town to town casting out evil spirits. They tried to use the name of the Lord Jesus in their incantation saying, “I command you in the name of Jesus, whom Paul preaches, to come out!”
Act 19:14	Seven sons of Sceva, a leading priest, were doing this.
Act 19:15	But one time when they tried it, the spirit replied, “I know Jesus, and I know Paul. But who are you?”

I can only imagine how their faces must’ve fell at those words! Obviously the spirit knew Jesus. He knew Paul because Paul spoke out of relationship and obedience and with the authority of Jesus through the Holy Spirit. But these guys? These guys basically waltzed up and said “In the name of Paul’s God (whom we have absolutely no relationship with), get out!”  And the spirit was amused! When the spirits looked at Paul, they saw Christ. When it looked these guys, it saw 7 messed up, prideful jokers with no authority and no backing. So basically their sad parade had come to an end.

Act 19:16

And he leaped on them and attacked them with such violence that they fled from the house, naked and badly injured.

They got messed up. The spirit caused its “host-man” to jump these guys with crazy force. Think about it: one possessed man nearly killed these 7 pansy-men! He was probably like one of those infected people from 28 days/weeks Later. He took their clothes!! All seven of them left naked!! And that was the end of their career as demon-driver-outers.

I’m gonna put the second half into another post. But what’s the lesson learned thus far?

1st: We had better know Jesus if we are trying to do anything in His name. And by know I mean:

• have serious relationship with HIm
• understand His spiritual authority
• be submitted and obedient and in right-standing with Him
• walk with His Holy Spirit

Piggy-backing on somebody else’s relationship/knowledge is only going to leave you naked and bloody and running scared as soon as you try put off like you know Him too. It’s seriously nothing to be taken lightly. God will not be mocked, nor belittled, nor used to bring any glory to stupid man. It really makes me wanna check and re-check myself. Is there ANY part of me or ANYthing I do where I expect something to go my way just because I throw Christ’s name in it? It’s so easy.

“Have mercy on me, Oh God, because of Your unfailing love. In Your wrath… remember mercy.” 

Why do I?

I was just reading a comment my brother, Kyle, made on LCC’s blog under the “What did You Hear” post.  When writing about questioning what God would say to us, he wrote a line that said, “God’s word is to give life, his voice is for our benefit not our destruction.” The instant I read that line I realized that the majority of the time that I go to the Word, I expect to be spanked…  and not in a healthy way. For some reason I have a very “abused dog” type mentality. Have you ever encountered a dog that has been abused as a puppy? Every time you raise your hand the dog will cower back and whine in fear. That’s how I approach the Word. I bring my failure mentality to the Word!! How is God supposed to speak to me freely if every time I’m going to filter it through my failure mindset? Everything is going to be skewed.

It’s kind of an immaturity really. When you look at it on the physical level, if every time I wanted to speak to someone about their life – whether encouraging or disciplining – and they took every word and turned it into this big “I’m such a loser… I can’t do anything right” type attitude, I would think they were so childish. And I wouls certainly think twice every time I needed to speak to them again.

Even as I write about how wrong I am about always thinking I’m doing something wrong (ironic, huh?), I have to keep myself in check. I have to find the balance. Or, I could just try listening to God’s voice and what it is that He actually IS saying!! That would probably work out best. I know that there are plenty of times I do have it wrong. I fully understand that… maybe to a fault. But i have to remember that God speaks to bring life, not destruction. When He does come with discipline it’s to increase the fruitfulness of my life. He doesn’t go straight for the roots. I think I really need to understand the difference between His pruning and His hacking. Both are painful, but God always works for the increase of fruit.

Really, I guess it just comes down to my needing to grow up, change some filters, and trust that God speaks kindly and gently, and He disciplines those He loves for the purpose of growth.

I don’t know…

This is where honesty sets in…

Did I read the Word today? Yes, I did.  Do I have a great lesson learned? No, I do not.

I’ve continued in my reading of Acts. Today I was intrigued by the fact that in probably 98% of the cities Paul visited in his missionary journeys, he started in the synagogues. He went to the gathering of the Jews and would preach repentance and Jesus Christ there first. Usually, there was a small section of people who received the message and became believers. And then there was also the usual group of religious morons who would concoct a plan to have Paul and his buddies taken out. Seriously, this happened almost every time!!

In Acts 18 this happens in Corinth and I think this is where the previously mentioned pattern starts getting to Paul! Verses 5 & 6 tell us that “Paul spent all his time preaching the Word. He testified to the Jews that Jesus was the Messiah.  But when they opposed and insulted him, Paul shook the dust from his clothes and said, ‘Your blood is upon your own heads – I am innocent. From now on I will go preach to the Gentiles.’”

It sounds to me like he had had it. Everywhere he went, the flippin’ Jews, those chosen by God, refused to listen to the Good News. *Of course, that is not a blanket statement…  as I said before, there were usually a group of Jews that believed along with him.* So I think in Paul’s mind, he was cutting them off. And he went to the home of God-fearing Gentiles and taught from there and many more people, households of people, came to the Lord.

(vs. 9) “Then one night the Lord spoke to Paul in a vision and told him, “Don’t be afraid! Speak out! Don’t be silent! For I am with you and no one will attack and harm you, for many people in this city belong to Me.“

Then Paul stayed there a year and a half teaching the Word of God. A YEAR AND A HALF!  Here’s my thing…  if anyone had reason to be afraid, I think it was Paul. Up to this point, the man’s been stoned to the point where everyone thought he was dead, he’s been imprisoned more than once, he’s been beaten, he’s been the subject of assassination plans…  people were mean to him! So I can understand how he might want to try a different approach this time and only speak to those who wished to listen. But, don’t you know, God always has a different plan!

God simply says… listen! Not only am I with you (Which should be enough on its own), but there is a mess of people who belong to me and won’t let anything happen to you. So quit your crying and do your job!!

I love that about our God. There’s no excuse. Christ suffered the ultimate death to do His job…  there is not and never will be any comparison. So many times we try to make a reason why we can’t talk to certain people and sometimes we may actually believe that they’re valid reasons…  but then God is always there in the night telling us to speak.

Maybe I did learn something after all….

influential religious women… are you kidding?

I actually came across this passage a couple weeks ago as I’ve been reading through Acts and it stopped me for a while. I moved on, but am constantly taken back to re-read the context and figure out what lessons can be derived. In all honesty though…  it just really irks me!!

In Acts 13 Paul begins his first missionary journey and they stop in Antioch and are invited to share a word at the synagogue. So Paul addresses the Jews and Gentiles alike and and tells them the story of Christ in a nutshell and calls them to believe in Him. Basically a bunch of Jews (Religious folk) got jealous over the large crowds that Paul and Barnabas drew so the slandered and argues with everything they said (verse 44,45). So Paul and Barny basically say, Fine then… we’ll focus on the Gentiles. And when the Gentiles heard that, they were ecstatic and so thankful that the Lord would give them His message and people all over believed.

This is where it gets crazy:

(vs. 50) “So the Jews stirred up THE INFLUENTIAL RELIGIOUS WOMEN and the leaders of the city, and they incited a mob against Paul and Barnabas and ran them out of town”

So the thought process of these jokers went something like “Everyone here loves these guys. How are we gonna get them out of here? I KNOW!! We’ll get the gossiping religious women started and they’ll do the rest!”

Seriously?? And the crappy part is that it worked like a charm! So well that it only takes one verse to depict it! Stupid gossipy religious women! It’s so easy to fall into that trap.

I so appreciate the “zero tolerance” policy LifeConnection has against gossip. Look at what a piece of cake tool that is for the enemy to use to quench the Word of God and stop it from going forth. We have to be on our guard ladies. Don’t think that it doesn’t catch up to you. I have put my foot in my mouth enough times to know that you are never clear from the fires of gossip. We have to control our tongues.  The angry Jews knew exactly who to go to. What’s the best way to cause division? GOSSIP! Especially when you get those with influence talking… watch out!

I refuse to get caught up in that mess. If anyone ever hears me talking in a gossipy fashion, or even listening to it… you had better call me out and slap my face! I’m serious. That crap scares me! I want nothing to do with that.

Service – Manage and Feed

Matthew 24:25 is in the middle of Christ speaking about the return of the Lord. He is really driving home the “you don’t know when it will be” point. this verse states:

“A faithful, sensible servant is one to whom the master can give the responsibility of managing his other household servants and feeding them”

To manage and feed sounds like discipleship to me. Manage and feed are two words that are all about serving without return. Even though the next verse says that if this is what the master finds when he comes home there will be a reward for the servant – he will be in charge of everything he owns – this wasn’t disclosed prior to his departure.

I love this breakdown of discipleship. Manage and feed. There is so much beneath this, i can tell. But even at surface level it brings more clarity to the some of the blurriness of what it is that we are trying to accomplish. But to do it God’s way I have to constantly abide. The servant managed and fed those within the house, according to the master’s rules. I have to abide. I have nothing to feed them of myself. I have no management skills of my own. I am totally ill equipped to take care of the other servants were it not for His doing.

Manage and Feed.

Prove It

During our last fast, one of the passages the Lord brought me to was 2 Peter 1:3-7, which states:

“By His divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know Him, the One who called us to Himself by means of His glory and excellence. And because of His glory and excellence, He has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share His divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.

In view of this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone.”

This challenged me big time in the aspect of my growth, or lack thereof. I was stopped dead in my tracks by the very first addition – moral excellence. Am I morally excellent? Sure, I’m moral… but excellently moral? What does that even mean? Needless to say, I didn’t get very far in this recipe.

Yesterday, I felt the Lord nudging me to revisit this section of scripture, and, wouldn’t you know it, to look at the WHOLE CONTEXT.

So as I opened it today I read the surrounding verses and while it doesn’t change the meaning I had understood, it certainly does given a more complete message. Verses 8-10 say,

” The more you grow like this, the more productive and useful you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But those who fail to develop in this way are shortsighted or blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed them from their old sins. So, dear brothers and sisters, work hard to prove that you really are among those God has called and chosen. Do these things, and you will never fall away.”

“WORK HARD”. That’s what it boils down to. It’s a constant work… in the best way possible, of course!! I have to SUPPLEMENT my faith. Supplement – something that completes or enhances something else when added to it. Faith is necessary, obviously. But it is the addition of the list of verses 5-7 that brings growth. Basically verse 9 brings in the punch line: if I don’t grow in this way, I’m going blind… shortsighted at best… and that’s not good.

I want to to useful and productive! That’s been my cry since I was a teenager and here is a detailed list on how to become so. And it’s not just being useful/productive for the sake of usefulness/productivity… it’s a response to His promises, it’s using what He’s given for Godly living, it’s proving that I’m His, and it’s securing my place… all for the benefit of everyone else! Being useful and productive is really just a bonus on the side!

Don’t get me wrong, I still don’t know about my “moral excellence” situation. But at least I know that I’m not supposed to get it right away… it’s hard work (Vs. 10). So begins the journey. The hard and glorious journey on the pathway to growth in response to His promises.